Can I please just start this by saying something? There is honestly nothing worse than making up your mind about something, a big thing, a great thing, a thing you’re finally able to say YES to with every fiber in you…

…and then you realize you have a lot of waiting in front of you.

Right. Onto the recaps then. Again, starting from yesterday and working our way back, because that’s the awesome way to do things.

134/365

Yesterday I went to put on my sunglasses and I instantly thought that I went blind in one eye. It was the only thing I could think that was wrong. Turns out, one of the lenses just made a break for it. This was not helpful because it was really bright out and I had a headache. And this just looks really stupid.

133/365

Sunday I was super productive. Some crazy intense deep cleaning and whatnot, followed by some shopping for things I’ve been meaning to get for a long time, like a little home for my remotes and stuff, and candles.

Later I trekked to Seattle to hang out with my friend Mackenzie. This time I remembered my wallet, so we drank beer and ate fries and talked talked talked for hours.

Good to have girlfriends again, seriously.

132/365

Saturday was bad. My nausea was kicked into high gear and I spent the whole morning throwing up. Made my way back up to Olympia anyway, where I laid in bed, watched X-Files on my laptop, and read.

What was I reading? Travels in a Thin Country by Sara Wheeler.

Funny you should ask, because it relates pretty closely to that first thing I had to say when I started this post.

Almost a year ago, I wrote this post about how I went through a brief obsession with the idea of teaching English in Chile, only to be sorely dejected and frustrated with the logistics about planning it, namely money and the fact that I had none.

That was the second time I got that idea in my head and then talked myself out of it. I did it again four or five months later when I’d just about and it with Macy’s. But, I talked myself out of it again.

I didn’t pick up Travels in a Thin Country with the intention of revisiting this idea I’d been so good at talking myself out of. It’s been sitting at the top of one of my stacks of books, and it was closest when I decided I needed something new to read.

And now I can’t put it down. I’ve gotten lost in her journey, weaving her experiences with what I already know about the country, with the mass of fiction I’ve read about it, with my own strange fascination with it.

I’m at a point in my life where not trying isn’t an option, where talking myself out of it for the fourth time will only end in regret, something I try really hard to avoid.

So what was holding me back before?

• Money. I’ll have to pay for a certificate course, airfare, and a placement service. And yes, for me, a placement service is necessary. While many people I’ve run into on the Internet have no problem with the idea of flying to a foreign country with nothing but a teaching certificate and some serious balls  to job hunt there, I’m not that person. I’m brave, and I’m spontaneous even, but I’m not that brave and spontaneous. So I’ll pay for a placement service for the guarantee of having a job before I fly down. In addition, I’ll have some savings for emergencies and travel and whatnot. Saving money while I was working at Macy’s wasn’t much of an option, because I really didn’t make much. I’m making enough now to where if I budget carefully, I should have enough saved up to be pretty comfortable on it and my wages I’ll make there. So there, take that you stupid pragmatic concern of money. I can handle it.
• Logistics. I suck at logisticizing. I made that word up. Figuring out the right course to take, all the work visa restrictions, dealing with money, learning the language was too overwhelming. Now, I’m a lot better at taking things one step at a time, and working with a placement agency, they’ll take care of a lot of that stuff for me, or at the very least do a good job of walking me through the processes. I’m becoming more organized, so I think maybe I can handle it.
• People. I would never have admitted this before, especially because he would have shook his head at me, but I didn’t want to be away from the ex that long. Now that we’re broken up and I’m comfortable with being single, now is the perfect time for me to do this.

There you go. I just kicked the ass of my three biggest practical concerns so that I can say, fuck it all, I’m going to South America.

But now that I’ve made the decision, I’ve picked out the course I’m going to take, and reviewed the application process for the placement service….I have to wait for all of it to start. Because I need the money to pay for the course. And I don’t need to apply for the service until August or September.

Oh well. I guess that’s more time to focus on the job I’m doing here right now. So really that just means that things are lining up more and more. And I shouldn’t complain.

……………

I am the most impatient person I know.

EDIT: OK, I’ve found I’m pretty good at distracting myself. In addition to the new Black Keys album out today, Band of Horses also has a new release. I am excited and I am YouTubing the shit out of them both.

Band of Horses – Laredo. That’s where this blog title comes from, in case you were dying to know. Either way, you should probably listen. Because it is happy.

Also, Black Keys released the official video for “Tighten Up.” It’s pretty adorable/hilarious, but you’ll have to click on over to MySpace, because stupid WordPress won’t let me embed the video.

GO HERE NOW.