Monthly Archives: April 2010

Well, I don’t know why I like you.

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Warning: here’s another post that’s something of a rant, but not the LJ kind. Just some thoughts I had to get out and don’t happen to have a photo that can go with. You know.

There’s a running joke in my family. I’m sort of the butt of it. Here’s the joke: haha, Jami, she’s so silly. She only likes boys if they’re musicians. Hahahaha.

Well, okay, you’re right,  maybe it’s not so much a joke as it is the a source of banter for the family and a slight insecurity for myself. It’s not exactly something I can refute – if you want a running tally, then yes, all of my serious boyfriends and most of the guys I’ve been into happen to be musicians.

But let’s get one thing straight here – they happen to be musicians. I’m not the girl who goes to shows to scope out and meet musicians. In fact, whenever I hear about their guitar playing, drum slamming, screaming singing hobbies, there’s an internal groan somewhere in the midst of my already developed interest.

I’m not sure why it bugs me so much. Maybe it’s the stereotype that goes along with it. Not just the one that gets pinned on me as the musician hunting groupie, but the one that puts all of these amazing guys into one group, with common interests, intellects, and values. Of all the guys I’ve known, they are all incredibly different, despite falling into that “rock musician” category. They have other hobbies and interests and are bursting at the seams with ideas. That’s what it is I like about them, not that they write songs, and certainly not that they write songs about me. (One girl I met once suggested that must be the reason I like musicians. “Oh, isn’t it the best when they write songs about you?!” she had squealed. Well, honestly, I don’t really know. I can’t honestly say no one has ever written a song about me, but I can say that it was never a really big deal if they had. Actually, I recently decided that listening to the music these guys write, especially in an intimate setting, or, worse, without them around, feels more like watching them pee than anything else. Not the most comfortable experience for me, actually.) (That was a really long parenthetical thought. Edit, girl.) As I was saying, what I like about these guys is their never ending flow of ideas and the passion they put into everything they do. They always had interesting things to say and they made me laugh.

And when it comes down to it, it’s not just guys that I’ve known – almost everyone I’ve had any real connection with in my life, guy or girl, has been a musician or an artist in some capacity. My best friends in high school were all in band, and they’re still hacking away at the music scene, whether they’re pursuing it seriously or not. I’ve had great friends who were photographers, writers, and fashion designers. Honestly, with the exception of the people I’ve know since I was really young, I’m almost never able to forge a real connection with anyone who isn’t artistically inclined in one way or another.

This would make total sense to me if I were an artist of some kind. But the fact is, aside from my ability to occasionally strong a couple of words together, I’ve never had any real artistic talent. (OK, the people who know me best and have actually read something other than this blog are shaking their heads right now, frustrated with my tendency to diminish what might be a more than mediocre talent…but to them I say shut up, because it doesn’t count if I never do it.) OK, so maybe I have some talent, but unlike my fantastically talented friends and acquaintances I’ve known over the years, I don’t utilize it. I don’t feel a need or desire to sit down and write and create the way they seem to.

So why is it that I connect with these people? I can rarely talk to them about their art, and can hardly even convey how in awe I am when they’re gracious enough to share it with me. (That sounded sarcastic in head, but that’s not how I meant it – I honestly am honored when my friends share their music, or photos, or stories, or art with me.)

Honestly, in some ways, it makes me more frustrated with myself. I get frustrated that my friends seem so much more passionate and full of life and ideas and beauty than I am. I want to do what they do, and I occasionally get incredibly jealous…for like five seconds.

The only thing I can really remember wanting to do, aside from writing, is to connect people with what inspires them. For every artist that creates, I know there is one person out there who will connect with it, be lifted up by it, and appreciate it. That’s what I’m passionate about – wanting the world to see how awesome my friends are, to let my friends do what they do so well.

So…yeah, I guess that’s all.

More awesome days in the life kind of things.

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So we left off a week ago. It would seem that I’m falling back into the habit of avoiding my blog or whatever, and here’s my theory on that. I have time because I’m waiting for something to install so that I can edit these upcoming pictures a bit.

I used to livejournal once upon a time, and it was your typical awful teenage drama shit. Friends’ posts calling out other friends, writing about every single detail of your totally mundane, average life, and taking every twist and turn in your own growth as an entry topic. Posting song lyrics, hoping that he would read them, posting nameless rants hoping she would read them…you know, that kind of thing. It was so damn self-indulgent, a place to hang out and wallow in my own misery, begging others to sympathize with me, to celebrate with me, and pay attention to me, me, me.

Well, I like to pretend that this blog is soooo different from my lj phase. So, when little problems keep popping up – family stuff, boy problems, frustrations with where my life is headed and general self-awareness things – it’s really easy for me to go into a rant. Not a good kind of rant where you can look at these things in a constructive sort of way, but the kind that just has me lingering around them, shuffling and rearranging the pieces, looking at it from different angles, trying to figure out how I feel about them and that kind of thing. A self-indulgent, look-at-me, listen-to-me kind of rant. An lj kind of rant.

So I’ve been avoiding my blog until I was able to really sort things out and get a good grip on what each of these things mean to me. Now that I have, of course, I feel no need to share, so I feel okay about coming back, because the frustration vomit isn’t stewing just under the surface of every other thought.

This install thing is taking forever and I’m starting to get tired, so here’s  the update with the unedited picture things.

109/365

My apartment complex is on a huge hill called Somerset Hill, so I’d gone for a walk while waiting for my mom to show up with the part that I needed to get my car fixed. Every time I walk around here and see the views from up here, I think of that Solsbury Hill song by Peter Gabriel, only in my brain I’m like, “Climbing up on Somerset Hill, I can see the city lights,” but then I get a little sad because I kind of want someone to come and take me home. But that’s only when I’m lonely, otherwise I just sing that little part, smile a little bit, and forget about it.

Except for this moment right now because it made me want to listen to the song…anyway.

110/365

The colors also get really amazing up here around sunset. I had no idea that was the case until I walked out of my apartment to run to the store and saw this. They were gone though, by the time I got somewhere where I could actually see a little better.

111/365

So, true story, one day I opened the mail at work, and this was all that was in the envelope. I would assume that it was a threat if I hadn’t known that this is the flag they’re always waving around at Tea Parties, so I just wrote it down in the ledger as  ”Anonymous says don’t tax me anymore and leave me alone.”

112/365

This is what the hallway outside my office looks like at any given moment. A little lonely, no? Maybe just because I’m so used to always working with people, I guess, but it’s kind of a bummer to see this all day, every day.

113/365

My best friend from high school, the wonderful Bekka. She’s only 19 weeks along in her pregnancy, but she’s already starting to show so much! I spent Friday evening with her and her husband, which was fantastic. In part because they gave me  two paintings that their old friend had made for them. Since they no longer wanted them, I snagged them, and they are awesome. See?

I told you so.

114/365

Saturday was my cousin Sara’s baby shower. She’s only two weeks out from having a real life baby. It sounds really dorky, but one of the biggest hits at the shower was having everyone decorate onesies. It was pretty cute, and I’m almost not terrified of breaking baby when it gets here.

So there you are. today will likely be up tomorrow, but in the meantime, take solace in the fact that I didn’t bore everyone to death with my crazy this past week. (And, well, it’s been going on for several weeks, so you better be taking an even longer solace.)

Rain rain and something new…dare I call it a segment??

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107/365

Saturday was the longest day. I got a call from Daniel at 6:30:

Daniel: Hey, are you meeting us here?
Jami: Uh, where? When?
Daniel: The Ram. Now. Where are you?
Jami: I’m…in bed. So no. (Silly me, I thought this would be sufficient to get me out of going to the King County Convention.)
Daniel: OK, I’ll be by to pick you up.

SOOOO I had about 10 minutes to get ready. This eliminated several routes I usually take to deal with early mornings, like showering and coffee. Then, we ran out of gas on the way to Auburn. Then, we did some campaignin’, some wanderin’, and I went on an epic hunt for coffee, only to end up with a tiny cup from a State Representative candidate’s table, and the most disgusting donut ever from a different candidate’s table.

There were other obnoxious things about the day, but I won’t get into them here. This picture is the view from my room, as I was crawling into bed when I got back around 4pm, about the time the rain let up, however briefly.

108/365

So here’s something I’m trying. Every Sunday, I think I’m going to post a picture that kind of represents the kind of music I’ve been listening to the last week. So here you go.

When I was younger, like 15-18ish, I went on this thing where I HATED any band with female vocalists. The hatred kind of waned when I started my Blondie obsession in college, and that opened up the doors for me to start liking other bands fronted by the ladies. But lately it seems like the pendulum swung too far in that direction, because girls are taking over my playlists. I swear, I don’t want to listen to the Noisettes any more. But I open my media player, and it’s a default. The Noisettes and bands like them are seriously taking over. While I’m working to correct this with the Black Crowes, Bowie, and REM yesterday and today, the girls keep creeping back into my queue.

So yeah. That’s what I’ve been listening to, albeit reluctantly. And much to frustration, and that kind of thing.

Trees and pirating and tea parties and eating.

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103/365

Well, what is there to say, other that I took a picture of a tree on my way to check the mail.

104/365

Okay, so about a month ago, I lost all my music. All of it deleted itself from my mp3 player. Since all of my CDs were stolen awhile ago, I’ve been avoiding the long process of downloading it again, and so I’ve only gotten about 1500 songs back. The other night, I felt like being productive, and so I sat down, determined to replace the rest of it.

I only got about 1300 songs in before I got super annoyed how slow my computer was running. So I still have like 2 more pages that look like this that I need to download. Awesome.

On the plus side, losing my music gives me a chance to purge all the crap that I haven’t listened to in a long time, as well as update everything that I was too lazy to download earlier.

I hate technology :(

105/365

Such a beautiful, peaceful day at the Capitol. I actually took a day off from the legislature. This is what I was doing:

Yep. Campaigning at tax day tea party rallies. That was definitely an experience. Very interesting…I don’t even know what to say.

106/365

I had to drive out to Castle Rock to pick up some stuff for the campaign. I stopped at Mrs. Beesley’s for a milkshake. Probably definitely the best place to stop for burgers/milkshakes/fries between Seattle and Portland. So good.

What’s weird today? Well, it’s the weekend, and I have no plans to go to Vancouver. WEIRD.

This is becoming a sickness.

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The title of this post has nothing to do with the pictures, just the fact that I worked for 12.5 hours today, and I’m sitting curled up on my couch…watching the debate on the operating budget on TVW. Ugh. Anyway, here’s the 98, 101, and 102.

98/365

The day before payday. I was so broke I haad to bust into my piggy bank (yes, I still have one) to bust out some change to buy a cup of coffee. Looks like it’s going to be kind of the same for the next few weeks…ugh. Someday I’ll be caught up.

The plus side, though, is that the Senator has committed to run even if Dino Rossi doesn’t get into the race. Before, there was an understanding that if he got into the race, we’d bow out. What this means now, though, is I have a job guaranteed through August. Well, and hopefully through November, and then a move to Washington, DC. One step at a time, though, one step at the time.

101/365

So my good friend Melissa was excited to hear that I’d gotten a fish. To the point where she gave me a small tank, filter, and, well, everything you see here. It’s made such a difference! Clemens is way more active now and seems happier. He’s also getting more black on him, which is weird. I love this fish way more than I did a week ago.

102/365

I’m tired today. I fiddled with camera settings and shot this picture of my candle holders that aren’t actually holding any candles. Ta daaaa.

Stupid legislature. Good night stupid legislature.